doubt

Have I ever seen a hard day in my life?
The logical side says, what is a hard day;
The other side says, true.

 Its the way we speak we must watch.
Perhaps we have seen a hard day or two,
Perhaps our intentions aren’t all that bad after all,
And its true that different people show these things in
 Different ways.

 What adds to the fear is a lack of certainty.
Am I doing enough?
 Am I doing what I say I am doing?
Will I get to where I am headed?

 And while we have our internal regulator for these things, It seems the external ones (the people whose opinions we respect)
Can quickly destroy whatever roadmap we thought we had.
 Perhaps a balance is what we need to know our roadmap Satisfies the tests of validity.
 But it seems guilt is a motivator.

How to figure out the boundaries of selfishness is the problem.
 Is this innate, and if so, it is very fragile because of how we look to others.
 Even our internal regulator seems to be determined through interactions externally.
Our portrait in the manor is already tainted if it hangs there;
But yet our portrait is what we rely on most.
I am sick of doubt.

Ahh yes...Cuban 'B'.

Samson: I'm gonna take your little Mexican friend here and I'm gonna kill him.

Scarface: I'm Cuban, b!

Samson: Yes, Cuban B!

Ivan

Swat Slap ____

Hemingway

Hemingway talked about something like death in the morning. When it comes, I would say that is the joyous period. As the day progresses, thoughts accrue and they slowly erode the progress of before. so: Death in the morning; so clear.

X,Y,Z

so you say X, I say Y, therefore Z;
if X and Y never meet, Z covers the spectrum;
if X and Y don't meet, Z resides in the spectrum;
if X and Y equate, Z comes down to essentially nothing.

whats the spread, then, now?
and what ought it be?
so you say X, I say Y, therefore Z.

golden days

holding to the golden standard;
raking into account "the practical"
as if it were objective, essential,
existent on its own.

predeterminations are the killer of our golden days.

mended

i lament lost relationships;
i wonder what could be if they were mended.