Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Abyss

The dust settles,
Sediment and smokey skies all around.
and we hear a..
..A tustle in the jungle;
these blessed blunders
which burnt us away have
arisen once more

and we tumble backwards,
we hibernate in our home made
abyss.

4 comments:

Scott Baio is Flipping You the Bird said...

home, made abyss

home-made abyss

i am left to ponder....

Dr. Strangelove said...

home and made are quite different notions. one is, supposedly, natural and the other is synthetic. so why join these two with a piece of punctuation when you can draw the comparison with the space?

that I ponder.

g said...

pondering on semantics (pundering?) and - interesting syntax is throwing whack monkey wrenches into this piece...get ready for some lingo-jockeying...

"we hibernate in our home made
abyss."

can be read as:

1. we hibernate in our home and we made an abyss

2. we hibernate in an abyss that is made at home

the preposition "in..." suggests the next phrase should be a noun, which "our home" happily fills in...the word "made" appears on its own right after and is interpreted as a verb that inherits "we" as the subject...this would suggest that the next word should be a noun that is an object..."abyss" without an article doesn't work in this meaning of "made"...

e.g.: "we made abyss" is not a valid sentence.

one can argue that the mind is suggestible enough to come with an interpretation like #1 by filling in the gaps

to get interpretation #2 (assuming here that it's the intended meaning), the reader must return to the middle of the sentence and reinterpret "home" as an adjective that is connected to "made"...this would open up a spot for noun "abyss"...the preposition contains all its parts and the sentence is valid

...the whole thing could be avoided by contracting "home made" into "homemade" automatically making it an adjective

...but then again it wouldn't be poetry.

Dr. Strangelove said...

incidentally, no harm was meant by my comment, just adding some color to what was written. so please feel free to write what you feel..