doubt

Have I ever seen a hard day in my life?
The logical side says, what is a hard day;
The other side says, true.

 Its the way we speak we must watch.
Perhaps we have seen a hard day or two,
Perhaps our intentions aren’t all that bad after all,
And its true that different people show these things in
 Different ways.

 What adds to the fear is a lack of certainty.
Am I doing enough?
 Am I doing what I say I am doing?
Will I get to where I am headed?

 And while we have our internal regulator for these things, It seems the external ones (the people whose opinions we respect)
Can quickly destroy whatever roadmap we thought we had.
 Perhaps a balance is what we need to know our roadmap Satisfies the tests of validity.
 But it seems guilt is a motivator.

How to figure out the boundaries of selfishness is the problem.
 Is this innate, and if so, it is very fragile because of how we look to others.
 Even our internal regulator seems to be determined through interactions externally.
Our portrait in the manor is already tainted if it hangs there;
But yet our portrait is what we rely on most.
I am sick of doubt.